so basically :

• we barely talk anymore because you're always too tired
• i only see you on the weekend
• when we see each other on the weekends you always want to go out but spend time with me aswell so i get unwillingly dragged out with you just so you can dog me for your friends
• i never see my friends
• when we are together we never do anything because you're too tired or can't be bothered..even if i just finished getting ready
• we always fight
• usually because I'm too happy and playful and you're not in the mood
• and I'm constantly getting let down

This Saturday we are going to the reptile park, and apparently Hardy's Bay for your birthday but you haven't spoken to anyone about it so i doubt anyone will come.

If you dog me to see Lachlan on Friday night, or make me come out, or if we don't go to the reptile park, or if we end up just getting drunk at a fucking skate park or somewhere shit on Saturday night or if we do nothing all weekend and all you do is sleep and then when you aren't sleeping fight with me...
I'm seriously going to break down in tears.

i love you so much but i am just so unhappy with my life and sad all the time.
i just want things t get better and our relationship be more exciting.
i don't want a repeat of my last relationship.

sometimes i feel as if you don't want to to talk and you're just doing it because otherwise I'll get upset.
and sometimes i feel like you don't even like me...or love me.
it's not a nice feeling, and I'm way to scared to discuss it just incase it ends in more fighting.
i love you so much and if you break up with me because you "don't know what to do anymore" or "you're confused" i am going to be the biggest mess.

i love you so much and if i was to lose you i would die inside and there would be no point in living.
considering my friends never want to hang out with me because I'm always with you.
not that that bothers me, its just..you get to see your friends every weekend aswell as me...and i never see mine with you, or just by myself.

i miss girls nights where we drink and have fun.
i can't drink with you because you're such a messy drunk i have to look after you and not have fun and apparently i get to rowdy when I'm drunk and I'd hate to embarrass you..

i guess what I'm trying to say is..

I'm scared.
so very scared...