hurry up queensland! >:O

so sick of my spacebar not working and having to go back and press it heaps hard.
*rages*

"I know, she knows, i'm not fond of asking."

i miss when you used to leave me cute notes on my computer for me to wake up to when you went to work before i would wake up.

Mumma just gave me a smoke :)
I'm thinking about slowly quitting.
like cutting down heaps :)

it's such a horrible habit and i look down on myself for doing it.
i never want anyone i love to do it because it's so bad.
but i guess i can't stop them

i enjoyed the reptile park and i am very happy we actually went.
even though i woke up really early only to find you hadn't even left for the train station yet..
but it was a lovely day and we saw Chloe and Mikey too :D
and Hardy's Bay was sososo fun, shame we had to leave and get drunk on the basketball courts -.-
it wasn't too bad, although i never want to drink passionpop again.
I WANT ANOTHER VODKA RASPBERRY!
lunch with your mumma,Tim and Lachlan was nice too :)
your mumma is so lovely.
shame i was too hungover to be hungry and eat more than half a plate.
i had a lovely weekend, but i miss you so much because i barely saw you.
stupid Parkway >.<
at least you had fun and found a ticket :)

i love my lamby more than anyone else.

THIS

haha this!

I wish you still liked me.
i know you don't because this is how you acted last time we had a fight.
so i don't want to confront you about anything because i don't want to lose you as a friend.
so i guess I'm going to rant on here, even if i feel bad about ranting :/

you aren't treating me nice at all, especially when friends are over.
you are incredibly dog to me and lie all the time.
i know this because i see you lie to your other friends so i know when you do it to me.

you never even want to hang out with me anymore.
we live in the same house and yet we barely see each other.
we haven't gone out together, just us, in months.
and when we do go out it's with the other girls and you all leave me out and make me feel unwanted.
you make me feel constantly disliked and i just wish you wanted to do things with and for me,
the way i want to with you.
i don't think we are best friends anymore, we never say it.
i now only have one true friend who i never see anymore.

I'm sick of being the only one putting effort in to our friendship but I'm not going to give up.
it just makes me tired and more sad but i guess i wont give up on you.
i only hope you realise what you re doing and try and fix it.
otherwise you may lose me forever.
not that i think it would really phase you right now.
i love you so much and i continue to do whats right and be a good friend, even though this friendship is incredibly one-sided.

i just want you to be happy..

/yusplz
but maybe in reverse colours.

I've got lower tummy pains that are worrying me..
and i need a smoke really bad.

/hates on life.

I'm So HxC.

so basically :

• we barely talk anymore because you're always too tired
• i only see you on the weekend
• when we see each other on the weekends you always want to go out but spend time with me aswell so i get unwillingly dragged out with you just so you can dog me for your friends
• i never see my friends
• when we are together we never do anything because you're too tired or can't be bothered..even if i just finished getting ready
• we always fight
• usually because I'm too happy and playful and you're not in the mood
• and I'm constantly getting let down

This Saturday we are going to the reptile park, and apparently Hardy's Bay for your birthday but you haven't spoken to anyone about it so i doubt anyone will come.

If you dog me to see Lachlan on Friday night, or make me come out, or if we don't go to the reptile park, or if we end up just getting drunk at a fucking skate park or somewhere shit on Saturday night or if we do nothing all weekend and all you do is sleep and then when you aren't sleeping fight with me...
I'm seriously going to break down in tears.

i love you so much but i am just so unhappy with my life and sad all the time.
i just want things t get better and our relationship be more exciting.
i don't want a repeat of my last relationship.

sometimes i feel as if you don't want to to talk and you're just doing it because otherwise I'll get upset.
and sometimes i feel like you don't even like me...or love me.
it's not a nice feeling, and I'm way to scared to discuss it just incase it ends in more fighting.
i love you so much and if you break up with me because you "don't know what to do anymore" or "you're confused" i am going to be the biggest mess.

i love you so much and if i was to lose you i would die inside and there would be no point in living.
considering my friends never want to hang out with me because I'm always with you.
not that that bothers me, its just..you get to see your friends every weekend aswell as me...and i never see mine with you, or just by myself.

i miss girls nights where we drink and have fun.
i can't drink with you because you're such a messy drunk i have to look after you and not have fun and apparently i get to rowdy when I'm drunk and I'd hate to embarrass you..

i guess what I'm trying to say is..

I'm scared.
so very scared...

and a unicorn somewhere.. :)