i love you, but this is all i can think about. it's killing me and im so afraid.
i haven't gotten any happier, but if i was ever to be without you...well im afraid of what i might do.
please never leave me.
and please by some chance i hope she gets fired and loses her phone and her computer breaks and she never speaks to you again.
i know you'll leave me for her again.
i just know it.

you can't fathom how much i pray that somehow i die.
it's so hard to live like this...